not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
