He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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