Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
