If that was your dad, he is hot
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
