Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
