Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
