Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
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However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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