sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
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it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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