A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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