i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
