So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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