It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
