32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
