I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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