My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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