that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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