what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
