You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
