she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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