Got a toothbrush?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
