i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
