No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
