3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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