Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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