My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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