She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
