never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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