It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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