she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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