ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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