I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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