my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
