my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
All I want is dick and wine.
there is glitter all over my balls
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
