He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
