i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I could make wine with my vomit
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
