You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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