what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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