He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
