whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
