so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
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We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
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Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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