He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
