I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize