Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize