If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
