I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
