Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
