So drunk its hurt
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
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All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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