about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize