girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
