I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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