My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How drunk are you?
Completed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
