I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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