yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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