I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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