I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The ass gains better be worth it
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