so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
