Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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